Lucille: You might want to let that fire go out before you stick your face in it.Lindsay: That’s funny, because I was going to say you might want to lean away from that fire since you’re soaked in alcohol.Lucille: Mine was better. Top Banana - 1x02 submission from Jacob Stockton
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Lucille: You might want to let that fire go out before you stick your face in it.
Lindsay: That’s funny, because I was going to say you might want to lean away from that fire since you’re soaked in alcohol.
Lucille: Mine was better.

Top Banana - 1x02

submission from Jacob Stockton

Buster: I shall be neither seen nor heard. Watch me.Lucille: You can always tell a Milford man. Public Relations - 1x11 submission from near-fantastica
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Buster: I shall be neither seen nor heard. Watch me.
Lucille: You can always tell a Milford man.

Public Relations - 1x11

submission from near-fantastica

Michael: “Why are you squeezing me with your body?” Whistler’s Mother - 1x20 submission from @seberin
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Michael: “Why are you squeezing me with your body?”

Whistler’s Mother - 1x20

submission from @seberin

Lucille [on the phone with Michael]: Something happened to Buster! He lost part of his body. I don’t know which one.Oscar: The hand! Hand to God - 2x12 submission from MrMJPotter
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Lucille [on the phone with Michael]: Something happened to Buster! He lost part of his body. I don’t know which one.
Oscar: The hand!

Hand to God - 2x12

submission from MrMJPotter

Narrator: And although he’d only gotten to second base, he’d gone in head-first, like Pete Rose. [air horn] Development Arrested - 3x13 submission from babubatt
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Narrator: And although he’d only gotten to second base, he’d gone in head-first, like Pete Rose.

[air horn]

Development Arrested - 3x13
submission from babubatt
Clerk: Do you want a cage for that?GOB: No, I’m a magician. (Walks into glass door)GOB: What is your return policy, by the way? Top Banana - 01x02 submission from devancho
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Clerk: Do you want a cage for that?
GOB: No, I’m a magician. 
(Walks into glass door)
GOB: What is your return policy, by the way?

Top Banana - 01x02

submission from devancho

Michael: “You mailed that insurance check, right GOB?” Top Banana - 1x02 submission from shmehblr (with additional thanks to Mr Submarine and thecatbureau!) 
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Michael: “You mailed that insurance check, right GOB?”

Top Banana - 1x02

submission from shmehblr (with additional thanks to Mr Submarine and thecatbureau!) 

Michael: (To GOB) Get Rid of the Seaward.Lucille: I’ll leave when I am good and ready. The One Where They Build a House - 02x02 submission from devancho
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Michael: (To GOB) Get Rid of the Seaward.
Lucille: I’ll leave when I am good and ready.

The One Where They Build a House - 02x02

submission from devancho

Michael: I’m not interested in you that way.Tobias: What way?Michael: Pick one. Family Ties - 3x11 submission from misschava
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Michael: I’m not interested in you that way.
Tobias: What way?
Michael: Pick one.

Family Ties - 3x11

submission from misschava

Lucille: You see how he treats me! Just because he thinks I’m having an affair with the boy’s uncle.Oscar: Yes, and she’s not having an affair with the boy’s…uncle. Amigos! - 2x03 submission from Mr Submarine
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Lucille: You see how he treats me! Just because he thinks I’m having an affair with the boy’s uncle.
Oscar: Yes, and she’s not having an affair with the boy’s…uncle.

Amigos! - 2x03

submission from Mr Submarine