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George, Sr.: They cannot arrest a husband and wife for the same crime.
Michael: Yeah? I don’t think that that’s true, Dad.
George, Sr.: I’ve got the worst [bleep]ing attorneys!
Pilot - 1x01
submission from rngrfreund
Michael: Has anyone in this family ever even seen a chicken?
For British Eyes Only - 3x02
submission by underscorex
Michael: And you finished off the whole bottle?
Lindsay: I had to, it’s vodka. It goes bad once it’s opened.
Exit Strategies - 3x12
submission by kayethepterodactyl
Michael: I can’t stand to hear one more lie out of this family.
Tobias: Ah, there’s the woman I’m sexually attracted to!
Family Ties - 3x11
submission by kyliemuses
Tobias / Mrs Featherbottom: Master Bluth. I haven’t seen you in a week’s time!
Michael: No, actually, you tried to put a banger in my mouth this morning.
Meat the Veals - 2x16
Michael: Gentlemen, start your engines.
Flight of the Phoenix - 4x01
submission by Quentin
Michael: “Mom, you’ve already got two strikes on your record. You strike one more person and it’s technically a spree.”
My Mother, The Car - 1x08
submission from kaffypants
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