Lucille: I don’t criticize you. And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.
Pier Pressure - 1x10
Lucille: You see how he treats me! Just because he thinks I’m having an affair with the boy’s uncle.
Oscar: Yes, and she’s not having an affair with the boy’s…uncle.
Amigos! - 2x03
submission from Mr Submarine
Lucille: Oh, please. I’ve been drinking since before you were born. So if alcohol’s the reason I’m here, I got news for you, bub, it’s the only reason you’re here, too.
Michael: Hey, you’re mean sober, too.
Spring Breakout - 2x17
Lucille: I don’t know what you’re so nervous about, Michael. It’s a new prosecutor. It’s a whole new beginning. A new day, a new case, a whole new set of lies.
Sad Sack - 2x05
Happy New Year, everyone!
Lindsay: Well, wine only turns into alcohol if you let it sit.
Exit Strategy - 3x12
submission from fourforyou
Lindsay: No, you’ll never be able to do it. You’re too good. You’re the noble one.
Michael: Thank you.
Lindsay: The one who never wins.
Michael: Well I don’t know about that.
Lindsay: The loser. The fool.
Storming the Castle - 1x09
submission from Mike Still
Michael: You seem more villainous than usual. Are you sober?
Lucille: It’s 8:00 a.m.
Michael: So it’s not that.
The Cabin Show - 3x01
![Lucille: Well, I may not have been a perfect mother, but you know kids don’t come with a handbook. [ Narrator ] In fact, there are thousands of books written on child rearing. But Lucille was in denial.
Out on a Limb - 2x11](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4igtag2LA1qk2t5co1_500.jpg)
Lucille: Well, I may not have been a perfect mother, but you know kids don’t come with a handbook.
[ Narrator ] In fact, there are thousands of books written on child rearing. But Lucille was in denial.
Out on a Limb - 2x11
Michael: Tell me the truth, okay? ’Cause there’s been a lot of lying in this family.
Lucille: And a lot of love.
Michael: More lies.
Let ‘Em Eat Cake - 1x22
submission from nellaria
Maeby: This is so much fun. I can’t believe my mom thought being here would be a punishment.
Lucille: Oh, she thinks I’m too critical. That’s another fault of hers.
Pier Pressure - 1x10
This submission is flawless.
submission from: @inanothercast1e
